Illinois State Police = total dicks

I’ve already told this story to a few people, as it happened last week. But here we go: Highway cops are complete dick bags. Now, before I begin, let me say that this is not a bitchy rant about me getting a ticket. Nor is it related to myself having trouble with the law. This is a legitimate story about how Illinois State Police are total d-bags.

The story begins late last month, when my good friend and co-worker (who is like a sister to me) got a bogus speeding ticket in a 294 “construction” zone. She was pretty much forced into this ticket, because as she entered the highway, the cop pretty much rode her ass in a strange way until she panicked and sped up a bit. 62 in a 45. Bullshit. Never mind the fact that “construction” on 294 means orange plastic drum thingies and no workers within 10 miles. But, let’s save that whole rant for another day.

I’m not going to give her name, but those who know me personally here will know who it is. Anyway, the ticket got thrown out because the cop did not show up to court that day, and she was fortunate enough to have a very helpful lawyer. In fact, her record is going to be wiped clean now.

Understandably, due to the nature in which she got this ticket, she is quite paranoid about the police now… going as far as driving exactly 45-50mph in highway construction zones. That might be excessive, and I personally think it is. There is also the fact that on 294, it is borderline suicide. Either way, it doesn’t matter, because it is the law.

Now, fast forward to last week. We are driving in-between locations later in the work day and are on a fucked up part of 294. They have the two “express lanes” (that you still are supposed to go only 45 in) cut off from the right lanes, of which only one is open. The far right lane is the only open lane, while the lane to it’s left is inexplicably blocked off by the standard orange bullshit barrels.

So we are trapped in this lane and going 45mph, with a large gap in front of us. I’m sure it sucked for people behind us – but again, not only is it perfectly legal, it’s what we were supposed to be doing. That is, unless there is a cop behind you that wants to drive faster than 45mph. She asks, “oh shit, is that a cop behind us?”, I look back (tinted rear window) to see an unmarked white Impala with the state trooper plates. “Yeah”

Now when I say behind us, I mean riding our rear bumper like a foot or two away. At this point she is very nervous and not sure how to proceed. I told her to just keep doing what she’s doing. So he rides our ass for a mile or two, no lights, nothing. Until he then taps the horn, which emits the siren buzzer sound for a split second. Now, she is really upset. “What the fuck does that mean?!”

I know this guy just wants us to go faster, or for us to get out of the way. But how much faster are we supposed to go? How much faster until he decides “well now you get a $375 ticket”? That was not going to work. So I told her to wait for a large enough gap between the drums blocking off the left lane and slow down, signal, and get in that lane. She does.

The cop then proceeds to fly past us at probably 75-80mph, still in the construction zone, and still no lights, sirens, or any indicated real reason for him to go that fast. Now we need to get back into the lane that we left and hope nobody rams us. After a minute or so, someone was nice enough to slow down to the point we could get back in and continue on normally.

This is bullshit. This says to me, you’re supposed to go 45mph in these zones or we can steal your monies. Oh, but cops can go however fast they want. So we have risk an accident to get out of his way. What else could we do? Ignore him? That’s just asking for him to make up some shit and pull us over just because we pissed him off.

Look, I understand that we were driving slow and he wanted to get home in a hurry or whatever… but when the goddamn police are creating scenarios where people are put in danger and feel a fear of the badge, when public servants are turned into little more than ticket writing larcenists that don’t even follow their own laws. That is some fucked up shit.

-Dave out


2 thoughts on “Illinois State Police = total dicks

  1. It’s not as bad up north, especially after 94 and 294 converge… but south on 294 it’s a swine-fest. We saw a few cops yesterday on 90 too.

    80mph used to be my minimum speed, but now I’ve pretty much made it a maximum. Though, I still exceed that to pass people and/or get to an exit.

    Just look out for cops, with their budgets fucked they’re out for free money… yours!

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